But not all of Dad's jokes were lame. There was one he used to tell at seminars by way of illustrating the most basic part of sales....supply and demand.

As he would tell it, there was a man who had a speech impediment. Some people called him a hair lip. This man rose above his problems and became the world's greatest retail floor salesman. He could sell anything.


One day he decided to take on a new challenge. He had heard that Kmart was on the brink of ruin and sales were terrible. So he went into the local Kmart, sought out the manager and asked to be hired.


“Hey buddy, how 'bout a job? I am the world's greatest salesman,” he said enthusiastically.


The sales manager looked at him and scoffed. “We don't hire salesmen here.”

“Maybe that's why yer sales thuck,” said the salesman. “I tell you what I'll do. You give me anything you can't sell and I'll sell it for you. Then we can talk and you will be able to hire me on a commission basis.”

The sales manager wanted to get rid of our hero, so he grabbed a cigar box full of nasty, dirty tooth brushes they had been using to clean the tile in the bathrooms. He handed it to the salesman and shooed him away.

Within a couple of hours the salesman was back in front of him with a big grin. He opened the cigar box and it was chuck full of ten dollar bills.


“Where'd you get all that money,” asked the manager.

“I sold dem toot brushes ten bucks a shot,” said the salesman.


“How the hell did you do that?”


“Well you have to remember the law of supply and demand. If you create a demand and supply the solution, you can sell sell sell. So I went over and got some of your card tables and set me up a nice display at the front of your store. I got some bowls from housewares and some potato chips and then I made me some dip. Then I went over to the garden supply and got my secret ingredient. People would come along and take a tater chip and dip er down in dat dip and take a big ole bite and say, “Hey! This dip tastes like chicken manure.”


And I'd say, “It is chicken manure. You wanna buy a toot brush?”

A great joke. People are always laughing long before I get to the punchline. The church was filled with laughter as I continued the eulogy. I got choked up and had to read the last part. Here is what I said:

You know what Dad?

We gathered here to tell you how much we all appreciate what you did for us.

For all the ice cream cones and cotton candy

For tickling us til we begged for mercy

For telling us what we needed to hear especially when we didn’t want to hear it

For fighting for the little guy and cheering for the underdog

I don't know about the rest of these people here

But I have already forgotten the frail old man who died last week.

I really have no memory of him any more.

I can only remember the wonderful man who kept everybody laughing.

The funny little guy who told lame jokes and somehow made us laugh anyway. I will never forget

the impish look on your face when you told the one about the peach to my sweet wife.

You died a rich man, Dad.

For if the measure of a man is the value of the love he leaves behind,
you truly were the richest man I ever knew.

Good bye dad

You left us with the most precious gift
we could ever want....each other.


Rest in peace.