If you understand why people cuss, you begin to understand why God is much bigger than the picture painted by conservatives. And if you have the chance to hitchhike, you begin to understand that we all share a great adventure as we trudge along. God truly must be endless.

Here is what hitchhiking taught me.

God is the embodiment of the eternal and endless and timeless universe. The universe is endless and therefore has no center. Try to wrap your mind around that. Think about it. If the space we call the universe (billions of galaxies created by the big bang) is really only a tiny cloud separated by trillions of light years from the next large mass of stars, then who's to say there aren't millions more spread out endlessly? Even so, there is an irresistible thirst within us to find out just how far it goes. That is the most important part of God. That is what propels the human race. It is that sense of insatiable exploration that sustains us. It is, in my lowly opinion, the only truly immortal part of the universe and therefore, the only truly immortal part of God. God simply could not exist without us. He created us just as we created him. But neither of us could possibly exist without the other. So if you want to know which came first, you are asking the wrong question.

This is the cosmic God I yearn to know. He is much more interesting than the human God that Catholics invented. I'll admit that he is not the personal chum Christians want to believe in. But I also believe that if he exists, he has no more compassion for us than the wind has for a bird. He is as impersonal as the tide but every bit as constant.

Chapter 8: God toys with me

When I was a para-glider pilot, I learned to respect the wind. It lifted me and cradled me and soothed my body as it propelled me through space. Sport flying was the greatest personal adventure I ever experienced. It made me hyper-sensitive to the laws of wind and gravity. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same moment. It brought me closer to God than at any moment in my life.

The urge to fly bit me a few years ago. Fortunately, my wife supported me and encouraged me. I cannot adequately describe the fever that came over me when I realized that it was possible for me to fly out of a field with a light wing. I had always dreamed about flying in some small craft at a very low altitude and a very low speed. Flying in any kind of aircraft other than a para-glider is much too fast. Even a powered hang-glider moves too fast. Only a para-glider gives you the sensation of flying with the birds. At a maximum speed of 12 knots, a little over 10mph, you glide with the wind. A para-glider has only one speed. If you rev the engine you cannot go faster. More power makes you climb. Less power makes you descend. If the wind is greater than 12 knots, you fly backwards, making it impossible to travel upwind.

Picture a tricycle with a parachute tied to it. The engine mounts to the back of the vehicle and the wing anchors to the frame. The wing is laid out on the ground behind the trike. The pilot straps himself in and guns the engine. As the para-glider moves forward, the wing fills with air and lifts off the ground. As the vehicle gains speed the wing lifts it off the ground. There are lots of videos on youtube that show how it works.

As a para-glider lifts into the air, it is important that it does so without swinging. If the wing is off to the side upon lift-off, the trike will sway back and forth once it is free from the ground. If it swings too much, it will deflate the wing and crash back into the ground. So it is vital that the pilot make sure the wing is centered before taking off. If the wind is rowdy, the pilot can end up being tossed about like a marionette. It is a very unsettling feeling. If a para-glider swings too much, it can deform the wing, become entangled and fall to the ground. So it is an understatement to say that flying in unpredictable wind conditions is hazardous.

My second lesson in para-gliding was on a blustery day with winds gusting periodically to 12 miles per hour. We waited for the wind to calm down before we attempted to fly. We watched the windsock and when we got a calm period we started the engine. I was very nervous about the wind conditions and so was my trainer. Somehow both of us forgot to strap me in before I left the ground. I was two hundred feet high when I discovered the mistake.

The seat belt does not keep the pilot from falling out of the para-glider. It is difficult to get out of the seat without making an effort. But the wind began to toy with me almost as soon as I realized the seat belt was unbuckled. I had only had 3 previous flights and I was still scared shitless every time I went up.

A para-glider is controlled by lanyards that attach to the wing on both sides. Pull right and you go right. Pull left and you go left. When the wind is “active” you can make the ride more tolerable by responding to wind gusts by the way you steer. A rookie pilot often over compensates and therein lies the danger. One of the first things you learn as a pilot is how to let go of the steering and trust that the lanyards will still be there when you want to reach for them. I had not been through that step. So there was no way I was going to let go in those wind conditions. I was absolutely frozen.

There I was bouncing around helplessly. Other pilots on the ground were becoming concerned as they watched my progress. My radio was one way, so I could hear but I could not speak. I could only indicate with my feet by shaking them back and forth if I was not okay. I began to shake them wildly. My trainer began to talk me down. We both knew I would have to come around and land into the wind. So I started my turn. Without a seat belt, I thought I might simply fall out of the trike. I later learned that the danger of doing that in flight was tiny. The real danger was landing without a seat belt especially when the pilot was a rookie fighting wind gusts.

As I made the turn I looked out at the ground below me and there it was. The farmer whose corn field abutted the airport had grown a message for those of us able to see it. The corn spelled out “Jesus” in neatly sculpted rows. As an atheist, the message seemed to mock me. I was not comforted by it. I was annoyed. To me, if there were a God and he was toying with me as I dangled in the air, he was a sadistic son of a bitch. It made me determined to keep my cool and land safely. I know. It is a terribly wrong minded and cynical way to look at such a sweet message.

As I lined up on the runway, the wind started tossing me. I could hear my trainer telling me to straighten up, but I was powerless to do so. I knew I was in for a bumpy landing.

As I drew closer and closer to the ground, I became more and more calm. My flying skills returned and I began to take control I set the para-glider down perfectly and slipped out of the seat. Fortunately, my wife was not aware of the dangerous situation until we talked about it later. She ran up to me and hugged me and I put on a brave front. “No problem,” I lied.