Wednesday, July 9, 2014


My Mission:
We are never really sure of why we live until we are tested. This difficult time has tested me in a way that is truly oppressive. I cannot sleep well and my body is aging more rapidly now. I believe more than ever, that my sense of morality is far more important than anything or anybody. I am a Catholic with an atheist philosophy. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

Yet Catholicism has given me a strong moral sense despite the fact that it has also given me the burden of a nonsensical after life. More than ever, I believe we die and that's it. Jesus was so right on so many issues but so wrong about death and heaven. We are no more valuable to this universe than a leaf or a flower or a bird or a fish. And it is exactly that, the essence of being true to oneself that is the most valuable. If, after all, we finally come to the realization that no one human being can live forever, we are free to explore the possibilities. It is only then that we truly appreciate the value of a bird or a flower or a tree. It is only then that we realize how closely tied to the earth we will always be. By accepting the true nature of our mortal existence, we are able to see the amazing value of ordinary life.

That is why I am determined to fight for the right side of morality while I am still breathing. I am determined to make sure everyone knows where our destiny has lead us. That destiny is a clean and secure future with a growing middle class and a more responsive government. It may take a revolution. It may take some kind of catastrophic natural event. It may take some kind of damning revelation about the privileged classes. But this log jam we are currently experiencing is a direct result of my boomer generation expressing its ignorance. As we relinquish control to more progressive forces, the tide will finally flow as it should.

In the process we must proclaim today's notion of conservatism to be false. We must make people realize that what is passing for conservatism is thinly veiled regression. The Tea Party is dominated by backward thinking bigots. And we must expose them for what they are. Real conservatives like Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower are a stark contrast to cartoon figures like Ted Cruz and Joe McCarthy. Brilliant conservatives like David Brooks will only become powerful when the radical elements are run out of the party. When George Bush ran for the nomination in 1980 he knew that he must disavow the actions of the John Birch society. Every time they take over the Republican Party, they damage the party and the country. Unfortunately, Newt Gingrich brought them back when he teamed up with the Christian Right and a generation of dirty politics was born. Since Newt, the politics of the party trumps the best interests of the U.S. Citizen.


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Last Sunday, Trish and I had our wedding vows reaffirmed in the Catholic Church. We did not do this because we needed to be accepted by the Church. We did it as a symbol of our acceptance of the Church in our lives.

We go to church about once a month. Trish goes a lot more often than that. I usually end up on my bike communing with nature on the greenway in Nashville while she rattles off a few prayers at Mass. She gets what she needs and I get what I need.

But in the process of doing that, I met Father Joe Breen. Here is a priest who has actively fought for liberal causes throughout his career in the Catholic Church. He has been criticized mightily for his stand on divorce, Communion and gay politics. Most intelligent Catholics felt that they had a strong ally fighting for them in Father Joe. The conservatives kept trying to silence him. Thank God that the new pope has validated this great man.

I go to church mostly to affirm Trish. I go to support her belief system. I go to give her hope and validation. There are times when I sing along or pray along but mostly I use the time for introspection. I have had to do a lot of that lately. Many of my dreams have come true in one way or the other. But financial peace has plumb evaded me.

I have always been careful with money. That is not the issue. If you could come visit me in my little condo you would see just how frugal I have been. But the crash of 2008 left deep scars in my cash box. We lost our life's savings and fell into debt as both of us drifted from job to job. We still struggle with income despite working three jobs between us.

I work six days a week and sometimes seven. You would think that I could sock away a lot of cash doing that but it barely pays the bills. And we are trying hard to pay back 17 thousand dollars worth of medical bills in the process. Fortunately, I bought the condo on a 15 year note and we are nearing the end of that payout. But in the process we have let a lot of house maintenance issues stack up. Our cars are nearly twenty years old. Our garden window is leaking like a sieve. The carpet is almost completely worn out and the attic needs insulation. Add badly fogged front windows to that and the debt soars beyond 30 thousand.

So we just keep our heads down, working as hard as we can, grateful for every minute of leisure time we get with each other. And all the while, retirement looms less that ten years away. I will have to work well beyond 65 years of age just to pay off the debt. Then I hope to have no house note. Even Medicare seems impossibly expensive. It will probably cost us more than the current house note just to carry the Medicare supplements. So it looks like dog food and frigid winters ahead.

We fell out of the middle class and we are not alone. Not by a long shot. America has lost its sense of decency. It has embraced greed and vilification of the poor. And as a result, the middle class has begun to disappear. What's worse is that economists predict a dire future as the boomers weigh down the system with their health care needs and the medical moguls line their pockets with the last few dollars we have.

So my last big hope is that my writing may save the day. I am writing a book that is unlike anything you have ever read. It is as much a philosophy for saving America as it is a novel about our future and a prediction about the economy. I will leak bits of it as I write it. But I will also return to this blog periodically to let you guys note the progress. There is a slim chance I can still save myself and my wonderful wife. Hang with us.